I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Terrible idea I love it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
