I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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