im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
