You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
