were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
