Its about making memories worth repressing
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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