thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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