she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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