It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
