if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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