no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
