week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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