Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
