new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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