I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
