why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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