everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
