well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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