Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
