There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
