it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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