I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
