Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
