Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
