We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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