and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
