how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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