My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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