I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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