mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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