he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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