He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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