Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
