You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
