Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
