Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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