no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
