I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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