No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
