I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Come share oat with me in your robe
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
