No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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