so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
