You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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