He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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