i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
love makes seman taste better
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
