found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
