I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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