pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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