I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
wow bdsm is so cute
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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