I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
