tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize