i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
