You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
