Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
