NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The air was thick with penises
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
