Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
