dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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