New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
