fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
