my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
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there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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