i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
