When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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