You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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