Four minutes until I can fart!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
