Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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